we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
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Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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