i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize