Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
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I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
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His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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