mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
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No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
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Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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