she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Randomize