No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize