Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Floor bacon is actually really good
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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