Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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