You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize