nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
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dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
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if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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