Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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