This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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