Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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