I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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