I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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