But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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