is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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