Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize