Texts From Last Night

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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Well douche your snatch and let's go!

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  (919): Well douche your snatch and let's go! http://tfl.nu/3ukm
  Replies (5) Good night (1359) Bad night (658) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.

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  (815): I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere. http://tfl.nu/yvq7
  Replies (3) Good night (465) Bad night (2066) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.

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  (412): Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head. http://tfl.nu/0n78
  Replies (114) Good night (8561) Bad night (1155)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.

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  (630): You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem. http://tfl.nu/xqri
  Replies (18) Good night (4315) Bad night (1313) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.

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  (519): duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function. http://tfl.nu/u3j5
  Replies (73) Good night (1139) Bad night (4490) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  grab my backpack.....its in the fridge

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  (973): grab my backpack.....its in the fridge http://tfl.nu/prjt
  Replies (19) Good night (7761) Bad night (837) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.

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  (513): I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again. http://tfl.nu/s5qg
  Replies (9) Good night (1383) Bad night (3427) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.

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  (604): He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face. http://tfl.nu/1cal
  Replies (11) Good night (2734) Bad night (1182) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.

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  (919): You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad. http://tfl.nu/r24i
  Replies (12) Good night (1083) Bad night (2093) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  How was your 8:30 class today?

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.

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  (306): How was your 8:30 class today? (1-306): Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus. http://tfl.nu/9y2t
  Replies (1) Good night (434) Bad night (1097) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.

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  (202): i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy. http://tfl.nu/piez
  Replies (6) Good night (660) Bad night (274) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.

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  (814): Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME. http://tfl.nu/nij2
  Replies (6) Good night (947) Bad night (263) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.

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  (801): Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice. http://tfl.nu/sj9z
  Replies (2) Good night (767) Bad night (254) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."

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  (608): I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory." http://tfl.nu/0nol
  Replies (7) Good night (2258) Bad night (351)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.

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  (765): Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros. http://tfl.nu/gkb1
  Replies (0) Good night (486) Bad night (269)

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