New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize