Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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