and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
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It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
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I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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