Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize