...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Boobs are out for the taking
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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