Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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