WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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