ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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