Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
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