just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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