Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize