Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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