I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Randomize