ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
only you would photoshop your dick
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize