I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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