i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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