when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize