I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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