I look better un-naked...
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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