We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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