he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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