Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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