I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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