i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
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