yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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