she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize