Moan for me like Helen Keller
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize