Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
YAS. BRING CRAB.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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