I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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