And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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