used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
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Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
pray to the hookup gods
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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